I love this book! As a straight person with 3 gay friends who found themselves in exactly the situation addressed by the book, I found the stories included covered what it is like to be gay in a straight relationship fairly and honestly. As my friends made the transition from straight relationships to being openly gay, even with supportive friends and family, it was a lonely road. Following their hearts and heads authentically was the right thing to do, but they felt badly that they were unintentionally hurting others and breaking up their families. Any break up is hard - gay, straight, married or not. Knowing others were dealing with the same issues (kids, coming out at work, being single again) and were willing to talk about it, would have been helpful. The book is timely and brave. Would love a sequel knowing how those in the stories are doing. Great job and wish you much happiness, Mr. Testa. Thank you for giving voice to a subject many people are not aware exists.
I personally know the author and as a once married gay man I wish this book was around prior to my coming out. Mike has a great way of sharing the stories of others. Love the book!
As someone who's recently been through this process, I really appreciated this book. The testimonials from the people who've experienced this very much rang true, and there was a good deal of thoughtful advice given for those in mixed-orientation marriages. If you're married and questioning your sexual orientation, I highly recommend reading this book.
I thought this book was very informative. Michael gave his readers access on where to find information on any thoughts or questions they may be having. He also did a very excellent job in conveying his and the others he interviewed experiences that occurred in their struggle with making the right choice for their life and family. I commend him on a job well done!
My father was a gay man in a time where being out was not an option. He married and lived a sad life until he took his own life in 92. This book and these stories are so important especially to thoses who have been in these complex situations! Excellent read!
Michael Testa wrote an amazing book. It has helped me firstly to examine myself and where do I want to be and secondly realize I am not alone.
I have more courage now and have been inspired to really think about my life.
Thank you Mike for sharing these stories including yours.
Michael Testa wrote a book filled with compelling true stories of people trapped in not only a relationship that no longer fits, but also trapped in their own discovery of authenticity. Although I have not been legally married, I know the feeling all too well of being in a relationship where I felt compelled to "stick it out" because life was full of ups and downs, yet I wasn't listening to my own heart of despair and isolation. It was refreshing to read such candid stories from others with similar scenarios and to acknowledge that our own choices are paramount to create the life we deserve. I highly recommend this book to others, gay or straight, searching for their own truth.
As the ex-wife of a gay man (who I am extremely close with to this day), I feel that this is an EXCELLENT book for any gay man or woman, married or not. It gives much insight on how others have handled their transition to the gay community. The stories were genuine and well written. It really is about time that a book of this nature was written. What a breath of fresh air it is to know that there are others all around us who have gone or are going through the same thing. I cannot express how much I recommend this book!!!!!! What are you waiting for....read this book!!!
I truly enjoyed Michael's book because I saw myself and my story there. But, mine was slightly different, and that just reminds me of how much we are individuals in this life's journey. While we hopefully end up in the same place of honesty and happiness, there is no "one sure way" to get there. It took me longer than most to find my path, but the result was definitely worth it. I trust each person in the book, in his/her own way, will find that same peace.
As a former married man, who is now out this was a very emotional and difficult book for me to read. I was able to relate too many of the stories in Mikes book. I would recommend that both gay and straight read this book. It will give you many insights to the struggles gay married men have. ….EXCELLENT READ Thanks for writing these stories that needed to be told
I found this book fascinating in that it gave me insights to the stories of other people in my same basic situation. There were differences, too, and I enjoyed learning how others dealt with coming out of a marriage into being openly gay. I came out late, at age 50, and have been single and openly gay now for 16 years. It was the best thing I ever did for myself, and I've been so fortunate not to have lost any family or friends in the process, including my ex-wife. I'm not proud of those years of lying about almost everything in my life, but I am very content with my life as it is now, and I have done everything possible to be there for my family.
Not just a book about gay vs straight relationships, this book also gives very personal looks at finding yourself. As a gay man I've never been in this situation, but I gained insite into the importance of self awareness and communication with family, children and loved ones.
I really loved how personal these stories were, and yet in some ways universal. They were sadly all about the ending or at least changing of relationships to make way for self knowledge and the opportunity for an authentic life. Yet somehow when the broken marriages resulted in the ability to stay friends or stay "family," that really seemed like the happiest of endings. Straightforward and simple writing allows for the voices of the subjects to really shine through. A compelling read.
